wowwww... it took so long for me to write... lately I was so busy with my life, lots of problems that I have faced.. but still I have no clue... when I came back from OBS, which the place that I think suits for me to escape from life matters and almost discovered about myself.. thanks to sstc...
love life... FUCK!!! I admired with someone that I've been in love for a year.. I kept it and sealed it with no one else knows it but my closest friend. But now I think I wasted my energy, time, efforts and my "space of memory" in my brain thinking about a loser like him... I regret it... I felt really down.. and my self-esteem almost collapse..
I started to think that I have to focus with my own things.. and leave all the shit behind-distracting my focus for all this time. I should stop dreaming and not too focus on my negative view about my self.. yeahh it gave me a shit until I could not stand by my own feet- which I learned from OBS few weeks back..
the moral of the story, Be positive thinker, love life- my friends love me a lot; waiting for a guy that gave a shit it's not cool at all...
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